Sunday, November 21, 2010

when anainn came into the world

up from the ocean the mist finds its way
it blankets the earth at the dawn of the day
over the east, the sun burns through
a band of gold in a bed of blue

down by the shoreline the pelicans sweep
plunge through the heights and down to the deep
all i know is when the birds fly free
my heart sings along like a wild gypsy

now that you're here i'll take your hands
and lead you through this wondrous land
every moment is shining and new
and you're in the power, and the power's in you

up from the ocean and down from the hills
throughout all creation the power spills
all i know is when the power's in me
i fly like a bird through the high country


Happy second birthday, Anainn. You've changed everything in my life for the better, simply by existing.

Here is what I wrote hours before you came into the world:

...The changes are coming, I feel them without fear or anticipation, just a steady knowledge of the shift to come. Perhaps Anainn chose me, now, to help usher me out of this place I have been stuck, to spur me for love of him to to make the changes and impossible choices I haven't made for love of myself.

Xir rustles and wakes. All the questions--his strength astounds me. Always ready to love, to readjust, to understand. I hate for him to see my mistakes, to suffer the effects of my bad choices. I wanted to spare him that. We all must, we mothers. How do we bear it, generation after generation, this terrible, painful love? What I have done to my mother. What we all do to our mothers. And what is done to us in turn. Yet the love, that wonderful love and those tiny hugs and kisses! Perpetuation of life, drudgery, all of the pitfalls and immensities of existence for the sake of that love.

It's all worth it. I love you, Anainn.

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